// The Matrix//

For the last few years my husband has been asking me if I wanted to sell our home and I would say vehemently “No!” Growing up as a foster kid in DC, consisted of a lot of moving and that was not fun for me. I often was removed from a foster home within the drop of a hat, without explanation. Most times I wasn’t allowed back into the home and I was just carted off to the next family where my “things” would meet me. So yea I kinda hated moving. But something changed this year when he asked, I said, “Okay, sure.” I don’t know what the shift was, but here I was supporting my husband and trusting this new thing already. 

In less than a week after this brief conversation, we put our house on the market and went shopping. We saw a lot of houses, some nice some not so nice; but then one day we went to this one house and my spirit just sang! I told my husband in no uncertain terms, “I want THIS house.” It wasn’t extravagant like anything off of MTV Cribs, but it was me. Does that show still come on?

Anyway, I was excited! I called all my close friends and told them about the house and we were moving and blaahhhhhh. You get the point. Guess what though??? We didn’t get the house! Yep, no go. So on to the next one right and we were. We kept shopping and periodically my husband would check up on that house to see if it came back on the market and guess what though? One day it did and for less than it was originally! YES!!! So here we are again hoping and wishing and praying for this lovely home, in this beautiful neighborhood. I guess this is sort of a success story, it’s the kind that if you have a dream you might get a second chance to make it come true. 

You see, in life I usually find myself at a road. That road may have one, two, three or more paths. Here is where it gets foggy for most, especially me. Before I start some of the paths I take, I have no idea what I want the out come to be, I only have in mind the obstacles of those paths. This is something that I do, I choose something based on my perceived ease. Wow! Man even typing that was hard.

Usually my perceptions are right and even then I am frustrated at the amount of difficulty that I endured at the end. But get this, I had no expectation this time other than a beautiful home that was closer to my friends and family. That’s it! No difficulty, no drama, nothing! What I know now is, it’s how I start down the path that dictates the circumstances and outcomes of the path. Yea that’s it. Its like I finally understand all of those Matrix quotes that I love to quote.

Morpheus: You have to let it all go, Zoha. Fear, doubt, and disbelief. Free your mind. 

Zoha: I see.